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To Whom It May Concern:
My 8th and final episode in my F*** Cancer F*** Fear series is called, “Just Feel It.”
I can only speak for myself, but when I was a new survivor and felt an immense amount of fear, my brain for some reason kept telling me that I was wrong for feeling fear and then I would aimlessly try to course correct.
I learned the hard way that sometimes I need to just feel it.
Whether it’s for a few hours, a day, or even a week, I need to allow myself to feel fear and have bad days and not buy into toxic positivity. It’s all part of the process. Just how professional athletes are never 100% precise on game day, it’s not realistic for us to be fearless and positive and strong 100% of the time.
Sometimes, we need to take however much time we need to just feel it.
When I was in my first year of survivorship, I remember having a lot of days (sometimes consecutive) where I’d spend the majority of my day on my couch, and I would feel really awful about it. Looking back, that’s what I needed to do for myself and I wish I could’ve told my old self that it’s totally normal because bad days are realistically a part of the overall journey.
As I conclude this 8-episode series and finish going over the different tools I use to combat fear of recurrence, I really want to stress that there will always be days we may not have it within us to refer to these tools. It’s OKAY to take however much time you need to feel your feelings.
Being realistic and allowing yourself to embrace your emotions for however much time you need is a tool in and of itself.
Breast regards,
Michelle
P.S. The 8 episodes in my F*** Cancer F*** Fear series are linked below:
Episode 3: We Have Different DNA
Episode 4: Your Doctor and the Red Devil
