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To Whom It May Concern:
In honor of AANHPI Heritage Month, I want to shed light on my experience being an asian american breast cancer thriver and how I am unfollowing Korean traditions after my breast cancer diagnosis:
1. Posting topless photos after reconstruction
While modesty and purity are deeply ingrained in Korean culture, I took a leap of faith and post topless photos showcasing my scars, implants, and amputations to increase awareness and representation.
2. Being public about my breast cancer journey
Asians are often characterized as reserved and quiet. I am both, but not when it comes to breast cancer. I try to share my story boldly and help others who look like me feel less alone in their journeys.
3. Correcting elders who make inappropriate cancer remarks
In Korea, elders are often known for their blunt honesty, and I’ve faced comments like ‘Shouldn’t you be having kids?’ or ‘You’ve gained weight’ or ‘I would never post that on social media.’ Depending on my mood, sometimes I bite my tongue and walk away or respectfully educate.
4. Challenging the Korean doctors who misdiagnosed me
I got misdiagnosed twice in Korea. Two doctors told me the lump on my breast was dermatology-related. Despite their authority, my intuition told me otherwise and I challenged their diagnosis. I requested scans and referrals, and they weren’t happy with my skepticism. I’m grateful I persisted because they were so wrong. Had I blindly trusted their judgment, I wouldn’t be here today.
5. Prioritizing my personal life over my career
While I never followed the stereotype of becoming a doctor or lawyer, I invested a lot of my time climbing the corporate ladder. Although I will always be a corporate girly, I’ve chosen to prioritize my health and personal well-being, taking things at a much slower pace.
6. Starting a family in my late 30s
As a precautionary step before undergoing chemotherapy, I made the decision to freeze my eggs. Now, as I navigate hormone therapy and its effects on my body, family planning has been delayed. I may have a geriatric pregnancy and will continue to have uncertainties about my ability to carry on the family name.
Cue “She’ll Bring Honor to Us All” from the Mulan soundtrack.
Breast regards,
Michelle
